Author: Lynn

It’s a beautiful shiny Sunday in Paris. We dressed up, met up with a senior at the 183 bus station who has rendered us so much help, and dined together at the 13th arrondissement (the so-called China town). Xiaoxiao took us to an Asian restaurant recommended by her Chinese-French friend. A 16.7 EU buffet. Sushi was great though that was just the samely salmon one, which is already notorious for easily producing bacteria and the Japanese generally don’t eat salmon raw. Nevertheless, I always take it whenever I can. I am one of the fearless Chinese! And sure enough, it’s always delicious and comforts my taste bud and stomach.

        Well it all sounds great. Mais ce n’est pas aussi bien que tu le penses. It has been a week since I arrived at Paris. My former life and all the connections with my family and dear friends seem to come to a sudden stop. All is desultory, my thought, my mind, my dream, my daily routine…The composure is disconcerted. I lost my identity and sense of direction. Presented before me are the typical elements for novels: high and low, good and bad, ritzy and glitzy… I have to make choices, about my life, my career and my relationship. Do people measure their lives in terms of others??? Some great minds don’t think so, and I used to be a believer in self-welfare. But people is prone to change. The whole foundation that I once lay on seems so vulnerable and feeble now that even an unintentional comparison and a quick glance at something might ruthlessly undercut it. I am so afraid of being changed, of my heart being bent out of shape by the environment saturated with money-and-fame-orientated value, and of being such an admirer of the snobbish bourgeois life. While I’m gonna have a struggling time with my French, my English is in a muck.

Write in August, 2011

 

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The link of this article: So Far, Comme Si Comme Ca